Calling all smooth criminals. Take a perusal of these curious Virginia laws that you may not have heard before.
Are you an accidental criminal? Take a browse through…
Respect the Smithfield ham
You’re not allowed to label and advertise a ham as a Smithfield ham if it isn’t a genuine Smithfield ham. What makes it authentic? It must be produced in Smithfield, Virginia.
Speak Wisely
If you’re known to have a potty mouth, you’d better think twice. In the state of Virginia, it’s illegal to use vulgar language on any phone or a citizens’ band radio. So think twice if you plan to curse on the phone.
Watch where you spit
It’s illegal to expectorate, or spit, in public in the state of Virginia. This includes public buildings, sidewalks, alleys, and pretty much anywhere the public would gather. This act is considered a class four misdemeanor and can lead to a maximum fine of $250.
Keeping of reptiles
See ya later, alligator. Don’t let your American alligator, or other non-native reptiles, run loose; otherwise, you’ll be hit with a class two misdemeanor. This reminds us of the time one was loose near a Fairfax County motel this past summer.
No clowning around
Want to host a carnival in Charlottesville? Dating back to a 1976 law, you’d better drop off the ol’ $50-a-day deposit with the city treasurer. If not, you could get slapped with a class two misdemeanor.
Alleyway snowball fights
More generally, this law in Richmond’s municipal code calls for no playing or throwing objects in public streets or alleys — that checks out — but we were struck by the particular mention of “snowballs,” and curious about the stories of mischief that may have prompted this inclusion.
No fountain swims
While this one is obvious, we couldn’t help but chuckle at it. One is not allowed to take a dip in the Market Square fountain in Alexandria. You’ll have to practice your laps elsewhere.
“First dibs”
Let’s debunk some road rage fuel. In Richmond and several other Virginia municipalities, it is illegal to steal a parallel parking spot from another driver. If an individual is already lined up to back into a spot, they get “first dibs.” This law originated in 1993.
The law that sounds like a riddle
We really have nothing to say about this Alexandria law except that it sounds like a riddle from a troll under a bridge.
Here’s a snippet: “The publicly owned open space east of the eastern right-of-way line of North Union Street, south of the southern right-of-way line of Thompson’s Alley, north of the northern right-of-way line of King Street…” Keep reading the law… if your brain doesn’t already hurt.
Know another weird law that should be on our list? It’d be a crime not to tell us.
